From Chaos to Calm: A Guide to Emotional Resilience

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People are experiencing a lot of chaos right now, and you’d have to live underneath a rock not to be feeling what’s going on in the world. There are so many outside influences disrupting our lives and fueling fear, worry, and doubt. So what can you do when you’re being impacted by circumstances outside of your control? In this episode, I’ll share how my clients, friends, and family are shifting from chaos to calm and a short practice on how you can become totally chillaxed in any situation. Welcome to Reality Alchemist where we smash life’s solutions and cocreate an abundance of self, health, wealth, and vitality. We’ll explore practical solutions to renew your mind, Unlock your potential and level up your life. Hi, everyone. It’s doctor Madisen Harper, and I’m going to keep this episode pretty short and sweet because I’m sure there’s a lot of things that you’re probably focusing on right now. But what I do invite you to do as we go through this episode is to focus on what we truly want instead of what we don’t want in our lives.

00:01:31

Now there is a virus contagion going on, but what I’m witnessing is the biggest contagion is emotional contagion. And that’s a term where our emotions are exactly as it sounds, contagious. I don’t know if you’ve ever gone into a room and somebody’s been fighting, and you can feel that energy even as you walk in, even though you haven’t been part of that disruption. That’s basically emotional contagion in action. During this time, I’m finding that There’s been a lot of conversation about the worry, the fear, what’s going on because our world has really been turned upside down. And in Australia, this has been going on for quite some time. I mean, from September, we’ve had bushfires and floods, and then We’ve got this worldwide virus, so people are finding it quite challenging to be resilient when there’s one thing after the other. And even the most positive people are becoming overwhelmed and eroded by what’s going on around us.

00:02:40

And that’s just part of being human, and that is totally okay. We can’t always be super positive all the time. We do have to operate in the world that is slightly topsy-turvy right now. Personally, I’m feeling feeling that the energy within my city is getting a lot more frantic and fearful, but also really greedy. There’s a lot of disruption and people taking what they can for themselves, and I understand that they are worried about maintaining some sense of stability in a very chaotic environment. What I’m witnessing is that this overwhelm is really eroding our sense of grace and kindness. And in reality, it’s probably what we need most right now. Now my friends and I, we’re all pretty positive, and we really do try and focus on our locus of control, what we do have influence on as opposed to being overwhelmed by the outside world.

00:03:58

I was actually driving to get some groceries for my mom and another lady who lives in her building today. And as I was driving, I was talking to a friend on the phone, and I felt quite buoyant and positive. And we were talking about all the challenges that the virus was creating and the impact it was having even on our day to day lives. And I said to her, you know, it’s really interesting that we are even having this conversation because it’s something in the past that we probably wouldn’t have given much time to. I went and did my grocery shopping. What I found really interesting that there were signs up at the cashiers where it said that violence and rudeness would not be tolerated. And I looked at the clerk, and I said to him, wow. That’s sad that this is has to be put up here.

00:04:47

And he said, well, Yeah. He he mentioned about an incident that had happened in another area in the same chain of grocery stores where people were fighting over produce. And these people also have not had any rest because they are asking to work 1 shift after the other. And I just realized in just connecting with him and acknowledging that it may be a little bit challenging for them and just being a bit light and friendly, it shifted his whole essence of being. He went from being almost blank in his interactions, to having a light within him, being acknowledged for his contribution, and not just seeing as some person that was part of the system, providing what was needed for the time being. And every single contact I’ve had today has focused on that one conversation. A lot of people are just really, quite honestly, doing the best that they can, and they’re witnessing all this frenzied buying and people going into panic and fear. And it’s interesting because they are saying they can’t understand it.

00:05:54

And what the news is portraying and the conversations we’re having. We’re talking about maybe a minority of people who are responding in a way that makes them feel safe and secure, and that’s totally fine. But people are finding that their lives are being personally impacted. Children might not be going to school. Events are being canceled. Conferences are being canceled. People are from home. There are so many things that are suddenly hitting us in our day to day life.

00:06:20

And as I said, I can be incredibly positive, but It’s quite fascinating when you’re watching it meld into your world. After going to 1 grocery store and Finding that they didn’t have a lot of what my mom needed on that list, I went to a 2nd and a 3rd. And let me tell you, my buoyant mood quickly eroded because by that time, I was over it. I was I don’t like grocery shopping at the best of times, let alone having to go to 3 grocery stores to find what we needed. And I haven’t been one of those people that has gone and stocked up the pantry. That’s not me in any way. But I’m gonna be honest, people. I am literally going to need toilet paper soon because, you know, I buy things when I need them, and maybe it’s not that smart of me.

00:07:04

Maybe I should be doing what everybody else is doing, but it doesn’t feel right to me. I am going to trust that it’ll be available when I need it. And if worse comes to worse, then I will go to a friend that had a bit more sense than me. I had to really readjust my mindset even though I was tired and overwhelmed from traipsing from grocery store to grocery store. And it was busy, and people’s energy was overwhelming. I had to come back to you know, I was doing something to be of service, not just to my mom, but to another lady who lived in her building who couldn’t get out and about. It made me realize I have a lot of blessings in my life. And, sure, there’s a lot of things that are in disarray around me right now, but I really felt Like, I was being called to come back to myself, to bring all my energy back to me so I could feel strong and resilient and capable and clear headed amongst all the chaos, almost like being the eye within the storm.

00:08:06

So all that motion is going on around you, but there’s that real calmness in the center. That’s what I’m really inviting you to do today is to come back to that calmness within the center, and it’s within the center of you, inside of you. We’ve all heard the saying, be the change you wanna see in the world. Instead of contributing to the chaos, how can we cultivate calm? I had a conversation with one of my friends who’s Italian and who has family overseas in Italy. Just having that discussion with her made me realize the possibility of what is available to us when we disengage from the franticness. They had sent a message to their family reassuring them that everything was fine. And even though they were in lockdown as such, they wanted to tell people fault, that it would all be okay. Everybody was being super supportive of one another.

00:09:07

They were being friendly, happy, and kind. There was plenty to go around, plenty of produce. They were going to the store in a really orderly fashion. They’d walk in line 2 meters apart from one another as they shop. Everything was just going smoothly. And if anything, it made them realize the strength within them and the love and support and kindness that comes out of adversity. And when she told me about how they were in line 2 meters apart, I had to laugh because I remember when I I was in Greece once, and I was taking a ferry across to Turkey. And the Germans and North Americans, Australians, New Zealanders, we were all standing in line because first come first served, and we were waiting to get on the ferry.

00:09:50

And it was amazing to witness the Italians and the Greeks. They were just, you know, lolling around. And And when the ferry came, they got on because the ferry had come. They weren’t as orderly as we were, so kudos to them for their standing in line and 2 meters apart. It really shows that when push comes to shove, we are so capable of being mindful of our surrounds and each other, and that we can work together to get an optimum outcome. I found the conversation quite comforting because this was a country that has been hard hit by this virus, And the message was that it’s all gonna be okay. We figured out a system. We’re being kinder, loving, and supportive of each other.

00:10:34

Really pulled the country and the community together, which is a beautiful thing. So instead of contributing to the chaos, How can we cultivate the calm? Let’s look firstly at what the world needs right now. People wanna feel safe and cure. We need to ask ourselves, what does that look like? For me, I don’t wanna fuel the beast. I don’t want to give a lot of attention to what I don’t want in my life. So I’ve actively been focusing on how I can be of service to those who may be feeling a bit more unsettled, how I can help them in any way by bringing in things or having conversations with them so that they can at least voice their concerns. It’s better out than percolating inside you, creating all this havoc. Also, for me to feel safe and secure, I have Have to make sure that I don’t buy into all the media and the conversations.

00:11:35

The conversations I am having with others It’s very focused on what we can do in a positive light as opposed to instilling fear in one another because it really doesn’t help the situation. For me personally. As I said, what do we need to create calm within our own environment? I’m also finding what the world needs right now is it seems to be causing us to wake up out of our habitual patterns. So many of us go throughout our lives day in, day out, and it’s like one big groundhog day. And all this is really making us rethink about how we operate, how we interact with others, what is a necessity in life, what’s really important, Do we need that unconscious consumption where we just buy in general as opposed to what we actually need. If worse came to worse and I had to isolate myself for 2 weeks, I could eat what is currently in my pantry. I’ve got eggs. I’ve got bread.

00:12:44

I’ve got baked beans. It’s no big deal. But I even see this happening when the grocery stores are closed for one day if it’s over New Year’s or one day over Easter. It’s like, oh my gosh. Pandemonium. People for one day are Filling up their trolleys because the shops are closed. What is that saying about us that we had this lack mentality that things aren’t readily available or fearful that things aren’t readily available. I think it’s really inviting us to look at our patterns.

00:13:17

How do we operate in the world. I personally wanna become a more conscious consumer. I don’t wanna hoard things. I don’t wanna buy things that I don’t necessarily need, and not during this period of time all the time. I wanna make sure that the things I have in my life are honored, and I enjoy the energy of it. Otherwise I should be donating it or not purchasing it all, also recycling things, repairing things. All those things are really important to me because I don’t wanna be a burden on our earth and the environment. Another thing I think the world needs right now is that whole introspection so that we can feel calm in mind, body, and spirit, feeling calm within the mind.

00:14:06

It may be preparing or reaching out to others or asking people if they want help. But I also think we need to be more gracious and kind with everyone. It’s amazing how they bond. And it really as I said with that gentleman at the store, it really released him from his stupor By me being more positive, engaging, and kind, it actually brought that out in him. And then we were joking with others around us too. And that is the emotional contagion I really think that we need right now, so be conscious of what you’re putting out there. These events change us at our core. And I know I have been asking myself, what do I really want out of life.

00:14:53

Once it breaks us out of this stupor of the day to day habitual patterning that just stops us from even thinking or considering what we want out of life. This is a real opportunity, unity. And what I figured out I really want is nourishment and love and peace and excitement, and I need to make sure that I cultivate that day in and day out. So I feel full no matter what is going on around me. I also have to acknowledge that That happens a lot of the time throughout my day, and I’m being very proactive in documenting it in my gratitude journal to celebrate when it happens. So many people are asleep. I find that people are just wandering around in a stupor and missing out on the wonder and awe of life and just taking things for granted. I’m really committed to noticing the grace and the beauty and the lusciousness of life, one, so I truly appreciated.

00:16:00

And I also know I get what I focus on, so I will also enable it to grow. This disease is also asking us, apart from what how we wanna be and how we wanna think and how we wanna contribute with our emotional contagion. How do we want our body to feel? In these times, we are seeing that the people who have low immunity, low resistance are the ones that are being affected the most. So I asked myself, have I been taking optimum care of myself and my body so I feel strong and resilient? And if I’m not, what will I change? I find that when I am strong, flexible, and feel well within my body, it makes me feel less vulnerable to circumstances. Dance is. So how do you feel if you’re feeling really strong and powerful and you can usually take on the world? It’s when we feel sick or tired or sluggish or never quite right or out of sorts, that we don’t have the strength or energy to withstand or navigate the changes that are happening. For me, I feel like I need to drink more water. I’m using Pilates for strength in fitness, and yoga for that flexibility and peace.

00:17:20

So we’ve covered the mind. We’ve covered the body. Let’s look at the spirit. Ask yourself, who do you wanna be in the world instead of putting it off until tomorrow? I’m making a committed decision to lean into it today, and I invite you to do the same. I wanna take you now through a brief practice that will help you feel grounded and whole in any situation. And this works in a variety of circumstances. I remember working for a client who was going through a lot of redundancies and just went on for months months months. And even though I am quite resilient and positive, After a while, I just felt like it was eroding me.

00:18:11

It was so negative and fearful every time I went in, and It wasn’t like people were saying anything to me. My clients were amazing and looking for positivity and the good and how they could make a contribution and become the CEO of themselves, it was just that collective energy that became quite tiring. And I found this process really, really powerful. When we feel a bit unsettled, we tend to say things like, I’m feeling overwhelmed, or I don’t feel well, or I feel sick, or I am unhappy, or I am sad, or I am angry. All those I ams, such a powerful statement. The I am statement is like stating to yourself and the universe who you are at your essence. So the 1st practice I encourage you to do is always follow your I am with what you want and not what you don’t want. If you are wanting to express your feelings, say I feel.

00:19:12

I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel overwhelmed. I feel shame. You see. I feel. Those states aren’t who you are all the time. It’s just a moment in time when you’re experiencing those feelings.

00:19:26

We can use the I am in a really powerful way. If you’re finding yourself a bit discombobulated. I don’t know why this works, but it is so simple. All I do is put my right hand on my heart center, so right in the middle of my chest, and then my left hand just around my belly button. That helps me ground my spirit and earth within me. And I just say what I’m seeking. So I am safe and secure. I am peaceful.

00:20:01

I am loving. I am loved. I am healthy. I am abundant. I am safe and secure. I am joyous. After a while, you just find it to be incredibly soothing because it’s literally affirming your essence. And there’s something really amazing about coming back to yourself, reminding yourself who you are at your core because you are not those negative emotions.

00:20:30

They are just experienced feelings. I encourage you, as a sad, you can put 1 hand over your heart center, 1 down near your belly button, and just say your I ams, whatever you wanna be. I am happy. I am resilient. I am positive. I am hopeful. I am strong. I am powerful.

00:20:51

Whatever it is, just say them. Do it with deep breaths, and you’ll just find there’s something magical happens, and you just seem to relax, softened, and find that there’s ease within yourself. I love doing this just before I go to bed. I find it’s a really beautiful state to send me off to sleep and program my subconscious just as a byproduct. Really powerful practice. The other one is that whole discombobulation. As you’re walking through the world, you know, as I said, I would go into these clients. I would be feeling all great.

00:21:32

And then just throughout the day, I’d find. I was feeling tired and just not as excited by life because I was allowing the energy to erode me throughout the day. And then I’d go in and see somebody else who would, you know, tell me about their challenges, and then you’d see something on the news maybe. And you just Find that you’re constantly being eroded. What’s happening is it’s almost like you’re leaving particles of yourself throughout your journey of the day and and then a lot of times throughout the journey of our lives. And what I love is just bringing myself back into wholeness. Because if your energy is dissipated all the time, it doesn’t really give you a strong sense of feeling grounded and whole and resilient and powerful and together and clear. So it’s a important aspect to make sure that you bring your energy back.

00:22:24

Even when you have an argument with somebody, there’s a part of you that’s left there. It’s just quantum physics in action. So I wanna do a brief practice with you. You can do it anytime you want, not when you’re driving because we are going to relax a little bit. Wherever you are, you can sit or lay down, get yourself comfortable, uncross your arms and legs so we can let that energy flow. And I want you to take a nice deep breath. And as you breathe out, I want you to witness your body relaxing. Take another nice deep breath in, And send the breath to the parts of your body where you can feel tense.

00:23:20

Could be your jaw, your shoulders, wherever you feel stiff or tight in your body. Take another nice deep breath in, and imagine, sense, or feel a beautiful light coming down from the sky like a waterfall of light. And just imagine, sense, or feel it washing over you And through you, washing away any thoughts or concerns, any stuckness or aches in your body, any unsettling feelings, and into the earth beneath you, Again, see that beautiful light coming down from the sky, a vibrant waterfall washing through you and around you, crystal clear and pure light just eroding anything that doesn’t feel good within your body or your mind. And now I invite you just to scan your day and collect your energy from every place you’ve been. So it might have been in your home this morning. You must see it was like particles coming back to you, And you could have gone and got coffee. Collect that energy back. Could have dropped the children off at school, been to work, the gym, visited friends or family.

00:25:28

Just imagine, sense, or feel that your energy is coming all the way back to you so that you feel really whole and full. Feel it coming around your whole body. And as you experience that wholeness, that richness, that cultivation of your essence. Put your right hand over your heart space and your left hand over the belly button, And just silently say in your mind, I am love. I am joy. I am peace. I am abundance. I am infinite.

00:26:30

I am safe and secure. I am healthy. I am excited by life. I am nourished. I am connected. I am positive. And whatever else you choose to be, and you can repeat them if you like. I am love.

00:27:11

I am positive. I am peace. I am joy. I am healthy. I am safe and secure. I am connected. I am positive. I am abundant.

00:27:35

I am free. I am whole. And just feel as you repeat the words that your body is just relaxing more and more. Witness if there is any tension that’s arisen and just breathe it out. You can even say, I am relaxed. And in the state of wholeness and affirmation of who you are at your core, your essence expressed. Feel or notice or sense what it’s like to be in the fullness of your being, being authentic, reminding yourself who you truly are, and take this feeling, experience, knowing whatever it is, Out into the world and just coming back into your body, being more mindful of where you may be sitting or laying down and taking a few nice deep breaths and just coming back into the reality where you currently are. And when you’re ready, open your eyes and just consider what it feels like.

00:29:12

Do you feel a bit better now? You can do that practice anytime you like. It is very nourishing, soothing. There’s nothing like coming home to you and cultivating that internal calm. I hope you found this episode of value and maybe have given you a few different perspectives on what’s going on in the world as an invitation for us to be better human beings, conscious contributors, and clarify who we wanna be in our introverts. If you did find it helpful, then please subscribe, download, and share the love with those around you. You can also head over to my website for show notes and to explore other free resources. Also a reminder that we’re doing our livestream on Facebook and YouTube. Submit your questions in advance by visiting my site or attend live, and we’ll tackle them then.

00:30:36

The web page also allows you to add the event to your calendar so you can be reminded to attend in person. But if you can’t, all recordings will be posted. So that is 6 PM. It’s a Monday in Sydney, 8 PM In Auckland, New Zealand, 12 midnight LA time, London, 7 AM, and New York, It’s an early one. 3 AM. There is no time and space, and we are all connected. So I’ll believe in you until you believe in yourself. So Thank you so much for letting me live my why.