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IN THIS EPISODE OF THE Reality Alchemist™ PODCAST

3 keys to

break free

Dr. Madisen Harper reveals the three traits that keep you stuck and shares insights on how to shift your thinking for a more authentic reality.


TRANSCRIPT

Release Stuck Patterns, Embrace CLARITY

Reality Alchemist™: Uncover the 3 Keys to Break Free

OVERVIEW

Madisen dives into the three hidden traits that keep people from living fully, offering powerful insights to shift your perspective and start shaping your own reality—because as a Reality Alchemist™, we know that ‘facts’ are only part of the story. She also explores the questions that can make strangers want to fall in love.

In this premiere episode of Reality Alchemist™, Dr. Madisen Harper sets the stage for a transformative journey by revealing the three key attributes that keep people stuck—from CEOs and celebrities to entrepreneurs and graduates.

Learn how to break free from mental loops and limiting beliefs with insights into the power of your thoughts and how they shape your reality.

Madisen also shares 36 questions designed to deepen connections and bring clarity to relationships.

It’s all about the WIFM—what’s in it for you—and how you can take the first step towards a life filled with CLARITY, CONFIDENCE, and COURAGE.

Tune in and start reimagining your reality with a blend of science, soul, and alchemical wisdom.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CORE CONCEPTS IN THIS EPISODE 

7 Key Themes to Transform Your Reality

Madisen explores the following concepts, offering insights for self-discovery, growth, and authentic fulfillment.

Clarity, Confidence, Courage in Personal Development
These three pillars form the foundation for breaking free from limitations and designing a life you love.

Confidence Competence Loop for Growth
Mastering this cycle helps you build skills and self-belief, fueling your journey to new heights.

Authentic Living and Desired State
Embrace who you truly are to align your daily actions with the life you genuinely desire.

Science and Neuroplasticity for Success
Rewire your brain with the latest insights in neuroscience to turn possibilities into realities.

Transformational Leadership Strategies
Lead with heart and vision, creating a ripple effect that empowers both individuals and organizations.

Inner and Outer Experiences Framework
Understand how your internal world shapes your external reality, and how to align both for lasting impact.

Fulfillment vs. Success Distinction
Learn the difference between checking off life’s boxes and feeling truly alive and fulfilled.

Reality Alchemist™ podcast microphone icon in minimalist black and white design.

KEY TOPICS

Introduction

Core Themes

Personal Reflections and Experiences

Personal Goals and Desires

Concepts and Frameworks

Leadership and Change Management

Personal Development Strategies

Inspiration and Courage

Additional Resources and Engagement

Madisen’s Personal Journey and Background

Podcast Goals and Invitations

EPISODE TIMESTAMPS

00:00

For those seeking transformation and increased fulfillment.

05:58

Transform your life using the power of thought.

07:28

Transform yourself through inspired action and mindfulness.

10:56

Strategy enthusiast with diverse educational background.

16:38

Career in transformation involves understanding customer needs.

17:52

Resistance taught gratitude; everything evolved perfectly.

21:45

Managing change fatigue: internal focus improves personal agility.

27:18

Eliminate old habits that hinder personal growth.

28:14

Embrace happiness now, not conditional future expectations.

32:53

Clarity unlocks potential through confidence and authenticity.

37:46

Live regrets-free: Experience personal enrichment coaching.

39:23

Podcast show notes and engaging question discussion.

42:50

Persistent in overcoming challenges, achieved business and book success.

46:34

Cried over lost potential and touching movie.

49.21

Share creations online; believe in yourself.

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SHAREABLE INSIGHTS

Powerful episode takeaways to inspire reflection and action.

Feel free to share these quotes and spread the message of living authentically! #RealityAlchemist

REWIRE FOR GOOD
“Your reality is created by beliefs and perceptions—change your thoughts, change your life.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

HEART-CENTERED COURAGE
“If you’re not living authentically, you’re failing yourself.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

INNER ALCHEMY
“You can’t change the world around you until you change the world within you.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

‘SUCCESS’
Success is having all the boxes ticked, but fulfillment is feeling truly alive.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

OWN YOUR TRUTH
“Your authentic self is your greatest asset—stop hiding it to fit in.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

THOUGHT LOOPS
“According to research, 95% of the 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts we have daily are just a repeat of the day before. What’s on your ‘play’ list?”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

MENTAL DIET
“We’re unconsciously consuming reality like junk food—it’s time to be more intentional with what you feed your mind.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

DITCH DOUBT
“It’s time to stop playing small and flick fear to the sidelines.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

REWIRE FOR GOOD
“Your reality is created by beliefs and perceptions—change your thoughts, change your life.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

HEART-CENTERED COURAGE
“If you’re not living authentically, you’re failing yourself.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

INNER ALCHEMY
“You can’t change the world around you until you change the world within you.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

‘SUCCESS’
Success is having all the boxes ticked, but fulfillment is feeling truly alive.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

OWN YOUR TRUTH
“Your authentic self is your greatest asset—stop hiding it to fit in.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

THOUGHT LOOPS
“According to research, 95% of the 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts we have daily are just a repeat of the day before. What’s on your ‘play’ list?”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

MENTAL DIET
“We’re unconsciously consuming reality like junk food—it’s time to be more intentional with what you feed your mind.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

DITCH DOUBT
“It’s time to stop playing small and flick fear to the sidelines.”

Dr Madisen Harper

Tweet

SURPRISING INSIGHTS TO IGNITE INTROSPECTION

THREE
FUN ‘FACTS*’

Interesting information that might just change the way you see yourself—and your path to fulfillment!

*  As Reality Alchemists, we know that ‘facts’ are a version of ‘reality,’ and it may or may not be yours 🙃

Mind Games with Thoughts

One average we have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts daily, with 95% repeating from the day before and 80% being negative. This repetition keeps people stuck, which she addresses in her Reality Alchemist™ approach.

DNA Redemption

Since 1989, DNA evidence has freed 358 people who were wrongly convicted and sentenced to death—71% of those cases involved mistaken eyewitness testimony. What could change if you saw things differently?

Your Inner Voice

Did you know that the voice inside your head might not even be your own? It’s time to separate society’s expectations from your true desires and become the author of your own story.

TRANSCRIPT

Dive deep with Dr. Madisen Harper as she blends cutting-edge insights from neuroscience, psychology, and quantum physics with practical wisdom.

[00:00:01]

Hi, everyone. I’m Dr. Madisen Harper, and welcome to the premiere of our podcast, Reality Alchemist™. In this launch episode, I’m going to share 3 attributes that keep people stuck from CEOs to celebrities, professional athletes to team members, start-ups, entrepreneurs, and graduates. Plus, I’m going to ask you a very important question, and I hope you say yes, as well as share 36 questions that enhance relationships and make people fall in love. Because in this first episode, it’s all about the WIFM, what’s in it for you, and to learn a little bit about me and how I can be of service to you. So hopefully, we are developing that relationship. Welcome to Reality Alchemist™ where we smash life’s illusions and cocreate an abundance of self, health, wealth, and vitality. We’ll explore practical solutions to renew your mind, unlock your potential, and level up your life.

 

[00:01:13]

So, who’s this show for? It’s for people who feel stuck, unfulfilled, confused, or bored. If you’re not backing yourself 100% and playing all in on life and sitting on the sidelines, hoping or overthinking, settling, thinking maybe someday, then this show is for you or maybe you are satisfied, and you just want more. I’ve guided over 270,000 people in 29 countries to achieve clarity, confidence, and courage to live a no regrets life. I’m not citing these numbers to impress you, but to impress upon you that this isn’t my first rodeo, and I’m totally committed to those who are committed to their transformation journey. Clients call me a gracious disruptor and human potential expert, and I’ve witnessed that most people are serving a life sentence for a crime they didn’t commit because their mind is holding them hostage. It’s time to stop playing small, society safe, and flick fear and failure because if you’re not living authentically, and in truth, you’re failing. I love to play a game. I invite you to play along with me.

 

[00:02:41]

On average, we have between 12,000 to 60000 thoughts per day. What percentage of those thoughts do you think are a repeat of the day before? What percentage of those thoughts, that’s 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, what percentage do you think are a repeat from the day before? Well, if you guess 95%, you’d be right. Now, let’s add another component. What percentage of all those thoughts are negative thoughts? 80%. That’s why I know that people are struggling. This podcast series invites you to explore and craft your own reality. Gain clarity on what you really want out of life without the demands and guilt imposed by others’ reality of what they think is best for you. We’ll uncover where we’ve lost ourselves in the confusion of false beliefs that we’ve taken as fact from family, society, spiritual institutions, the media, you name it.

 

[00:03:54]

We’re unconsciously consuming so-called ‘reality’ like junk food. Look around. You can grow up in the same environment as someone else but experience a very different existence despite having the same influencers. The difference is the paradigm you’ve developed. That’s basically the lens on life which shapes your reality. When people say to me, you’ve got to be realistic, I ask that to whose reality am I conforming to? To illustrate, there are loads of studies on how perception creates reality. In one exploration, a team assessed the accuracy of eyewitness testimony at crime scenes and quantified it. The Innocence Project is an initiative founded in 1992 by Peter Neufeld and Barry Scheck at Cardoza School of Law.

 

[00:04:51]

Through DNA testing, the team aims to exonerate those who have been wrongly convicted. Since 1989, 358 people who had been convicted and sentenced to death had been exonerated through DNA evidence. Of those, 71% had been convicted through eyewitness misidentification and served an average of 14 years in prison before being released. I found this shocking. So, ask yourself, how have you imprisoned your life or those around you with your paradigms? And if you have children, their formative years are up to 7 years old, so it might be worthwhile to set aside some of that college fund towards therapy. I’m not saying that to guilt you, but to wake you up so that you’re being the best possible role model. On a brighter note, the great news is those paradigms can be changed. Your reality is created by beliefs and perceptions that are based on thoughts and feelings of how you perceive the world.

 

[00:05:58]

That means you can learn to create the life you want by harnessing the power of your thinking, and that’s where the alchemy comes in. Alchemists in the 17th century performed secret experiments as they believed that lead could be perfected into gold, that diseases could be cured, and that life could be prolonged through transmutation, which means changing an essential element into a superior form. In modern day, the concept has evolved into the power to transform things for the better, real or imagined. And during this series, we’re going to question your current reality and reimagine it into your version of utopia. Sounds too good to be true. Well, it’s totally possible because you’re already doing it. We’re just going to be more conscious in our creation, so you get the outcome you desire, not a byproduct of being unintentional. And the best news is we’re going to make the seemingly complex simple, because it is simple, and life is supposed to be fun and easy when we get out of our own way. If you’re ready for life to be easier, to transform all that struggle and striving and resistance into ease, clarity, and joy, then I’m going to invite you to release the shackles and the constructs of the mind.

 

[00:07:28]

Take an inside out approach. You can only transform yourself, because that’s the ultimate inversion invocation that ignites your Reality Alchemist™ and co creates soul alignment. Does that sound good to you? If it does, each week, we’ll explore a powerful life changing fusion of concepts that are common themes with people I’ve worked with and practical action. Because in order to change, we have to take action, but I don’t want it to be that striving, struggling action. I want it to be inspired action. Plus, we’ll also do some mindfulness practices that I’ll leave as a separate audio so you can listen to them without having to listen to all the podcasts. And to sweeten the deal, I’m going to do weekly live streams of coaching and q and a. So, if you’re listening along to the podcast, you can send me questions or share some struggles that you might be having, and I might even invite you to be on air live with me.

 

[00:08:36]

And seeing as you’re investing your precious time and listening in, I want to make sure that we transcend education and inspiration. You can get that anywhere. And we know what happens when we go to events or we read a book, we get all excited, but then we don’t activate it in our lives. I want to amplify activation and integration within you because nothing changes until you do. Not your life, not relationships, teams, organizations, or the world. Because if you don’t go within, you literally go without. Who am I apart from Madisen Harper, and why should you trust me as your guide? Before I share with you my proven scientific fueled frameworks, I’ll share a bit of my personal and professional background. And seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, here’s my question to you.

 

[00:09:37]

Will you be my Valentine? I hope you will. And, remember to listen to the end as I’m going to tell you about those 36 questions that lead to awesome relationship. And seeing as we’re entering a relationship of sorts, I’m going to answer some of those questions and invite you to share your answers too. Let’s start with the juicy stuff, the personal life. You can probably tell I’ve got a bit of an odd accent. I call it my international accent. I was born in Australia in Melbourne. I went to Canada when I was 5 years old, and I did all my growing up over there.

 

[00:10:12]

So from 5 years old to 17, and then I returned back to Sydney, and I did all my university here. Canada and Australia are very similar. They’re similar in terms of the people and the culture. The big difference is it’s cold over there, And I can’t even fathom minus 25. When I came to visit Australia once when I was 14, it was 17 degrees, and it was sun tanning weather to me. But now, very different situation. My undergraduate is a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Communications. And then I started some work in advertising.

 

[00:10:56]

I really love strategy, and it’s one of my number one strengths. I went back and did a Master of Commerce in Marketing and Organizational Behavior and Change. I have an advanced qualification in freelance journalism and did my PhD in clinical hypnotherapy. Not so much because I was going to practice hypnotherapy, but I was fascinated by the conscious and the subconscious mind because that’s what stuffs up people. It’s the things that we’re not aware of a lot of the time, and that’s what we’re going to explore in this series. Recently, I’ve done some work with Harvard Graduate School on how to open up possibility through profound questioning, which I’ll share with you, and some neuroscience courses. I am not an expert in the sciences, but I know enough to hack them, and I’ll be sure to give those hacks to you as well. I currently live in Sydney with my fur family.

 

[00:11:54]

I’ve got a rescue Pomeranian named Minka. Lovely little sweet thing. There’s pictures of her on my website. She is 8 years old, but like all women, she’s been that age for the last 6 years. Because she is a rescue dog, we’re not sure how old she is because they take their age by their teeth. So, being a puppy mill dog, she is not really clear because they’re not always well taken care of. And I have my lovely cat, Talia, who you will probably hear from time-to-time. She is turning 20 this year.

 

[00:12:31]

I was married for 10 years and got divorced in the last few years. We just weren’t good for each other anymore. Lovely, lovely guy. Such a smart man. I have a lot of respect for his mind. But, you know, we decided to move on. I, like probably many of you, have had life’s challenges. And I like to say that mine are the trifecta.

 

[00:12:58]

It’s been around relationships, finances, and health. So, you know, go, girl. When I realized that life doesn’t happen to me; it happens for me, I understood that the reason why I had to go through those anxieties and challenges was so that I could be of greater value and service to the people who I work with. Because, quite honestly, between those three, it’s pretty relatable. In terms of relationships, I have told you I have been married and divorced. I’ve had numerous long-term relationships over the years. But quite honestly, I don’t know if you guys can relate to this. Sometimes, I felt very alone in the relationships I was in.

 

[00:13:39]

Right now, I’m actually just really open to attracting an amazing gentleman who is passionate, excited, and revved up by life. And I’m sure he’s coming very soon. In relation to finances, gosh, I am so good at making money. It didn’t matter how much I had or how little I had. I never had any ease about it. I was always worried about it, and I realized that that really came from my parents. My dad was a migrant. He passed away in October 2017.

 

[00:14:13]

My mom, you know, had a very simple life and was very put up in my dad’s fear and worry about the financial situation, so I’ve never had an ease about it. But the great thing is, I’ve managed to find peace around that now, which I think is what we’re all just craving. We just want some peace and ease in our lives. Probably, my biggest challenge has been around my health. I went on my first diet when I was 11 years old, and I have struggled with weight my whole entire life. And I was recently diagnosed with a binge eating disorder. So, I am an all-or-nothing type of girl. I’m either eating everything: cheesecakes, licorice, chips, pizza, or I’m having half a snow pea.

 

[00:14:59]

At my heaviest that I know of could be, you know, probably, it’s about 105 kilos, and I’m 173 centimeters, so 5 foot 7, 5 foot 8, that’s about 230 pounds. I just never felt good about myself. But I’ve realized since that binge eating is just a mechanism to push down emotions. I’ve been on a journey with that for decades. So now I’m probably in that 59 kilos, a 130-something pounds. But I’ve gotta say it’s still a struggle every day. It is a food addiction. So those are my main challenges.

 

[00:15:34]

And as I said, I feel like I’ve managed to get some peace and ease around them, and I’m gonna share with you what I did in these episodes and I’ve shared with clients that have worked. You know what? I really think we don’t ever give up on learning until the day we die. We’re constantly evolving human beings. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to share two key practices that I’ve witnessed are in the toolbox of fulfilled people and have been some of my greatest personal struggles. So that’s in the next couple of weeks. So my career basically started off in advertising, and then I took marketing roles in a number of organizations, publishing, IT, and telecommunications. And I actually had an opportunity at an industry association. I was consulting to work on a CRM implementation, a customer relationship management integration.

 

[00:16:38]

And they needed somebody who understood the customer, which thankfully I did because I was working in marketing to communicate to the IT people the needs and requirements. That evolved into a stint in project management. And during that time, I had a client who told me, you know what? “I actually will do what you asked me to do because I like you. Otherwise, I tell them to…” I realized that there are no successful implementations without looking at the people who are driving them, and that evolved into change management. It’s all about culture, capability uplift, looking at how change impacts people, and coming up with strategies to manage it to get an optimum outcomes. I realized that everything I had done up until this time, the marketing, advertising, working in a speakers bureau, working for publishers, doing project management, change management, my love of IT, every single path, led me to where I am today. Because I do speaking, I have published books, And now I’ve made a whole career of transformation, be it with organizations or individuals. There’s a huge lesson there.

 

[00:17:52]

And I can remember a time where I was almost in tears driving to one of the jobs that I had. I had so much resistance, and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t doing what I was meant to be doing, and I was still working in project management, and I wanted to do more of the work like I was doing today. And I realized later when I got emails and LinkedIn messages from people who said, you know what? Working with you really changed my perspective on how I live my life. That is such a beautiful compliment. I came to realize that I was in the perfect place and everything would evolve as it was meant to be. It was only my resistance that created the havoc in my life. If you’re experiencing any havoc or overwhelm or dissatisfaction in your life, you need to ask yourself, what is the situation teaching me? Because let me tell you, when you do, you become grateful for it instead of it being a massive pain point in your life. So that’s me in a nutshell.

 

[00:18:57]

I often say to people, “I have a very boring life” and they say,  “You’re the most ‘unboring’ person I know!” But I think I should be more accurate and say “I actually have a simple life.” I’m fortunate that I wake up when I’m finished sleeping most days. I am in flow. People value me for the value that I provide. And I turned my passion of personal development into a purposeful profession. I actually consider myself very blessed and lucky. I’m just a woman who is an ever-evolving work in progress.

 

[00:19:29]

I let curiosity and questions and passion lead me on a life scavenger hunt. And I realized a long time ago, there is no perfection or perfect time to take action and experience what I crave. But there are millions of aligned moments that make now the right time to feel gratitude for the existing expressions of my desires, which also change minute by minute, day by day, and year on year. So, what am I currently working on? As I said, we’re ever-evolving, so I’m working on bringing more softness into my life, focusing on being more and only doing through inspiration. Because I have to admit, it’s a challenge. I am a former do-aholic, so I had a huge addiction to ‘doing.’ And there’s a part of me that still fears if I stop, that I’ll get stuck. But what I’ve learned is life is a lot easier, congruent, and flowing when I surrender to really living wholeheartedly instead of being bullied by my mind.

 

[00:20:37]

And we’re going to do a lot of work around the mind, and I’m going to share with you so many ways that our mind is just creating illusions and fear and worry and doubt. I’ll give you actually even proof that our mind is the ultimate trickster and how we can tell the mind that there is a new sheriff in town and the heart is actually the new mind, in my experience. Enough about me and back to you. I want to share with you an overview of my proven scientifically fueled framework. The first thing I wanna talk to you about is the intraverse and the extraverse. When you hear me talking about intraverse, it’s basically your experience of the world within you. When you hear me say extraverse, it is how you experience the world outside yourself. Locus of control actually refers to the extent to which we feel we have control over the events that influence our lives, and we are in this constant ever, ever-evolving, changing environment.

 

[00:21:45]

It just seems to be getting quicker and quicker, and executives are now saying that their top challenge in the next 5 years is managing change fatigue. This is really important. If you are a leader or responsible for your company’s culture, and, actually, we all are responsible for our company’s culture, this whole inversion process, this inside-out approach, is integral to keep us buoyant and fueled, focused, and excited by the work and my life. What are the attributes of these loci of control? So if you have an internal focus, you’re more likely to take responsibility for actions, be more accountable, you’re not swayed or influenced by other people’s opinions; you often do better at the task you’re doing and life when you’re allowed to do it in your own vibe and flow and pace. You usually have a strong sense of self-efficacy. You tend to work hard for what you want because you know you are your Reality Alchemist™. So when you focus on things, you believe it’s all up to you. Also, when it comes time for change and challenges, you feel confident.

 

[00:23:01]

You’ve got a lot of resilience because you know how you respond to all these tumultuous experiences that happen with people. You know that it’s up to you in terms of whether you turn it into something that’s overwhelming or if you stay strong in what’s important to you. Also, these people tend to be a bit physically healthier and happier as well as more independent, and they often achieve greater success and fulfillment in life and the workplace. Now, I have a belief in success and fulfillment. You will hear me use the word fulfillment more than the word success because, theoretically, a lot of us are already successful. We can have a great relationship that we’ve got good healthy bodies, great careers, good support systems, all that. That is success for a lot of people. But here’s what I know for sure.

 

[00:23:56]

A lot of people are not fulfilled. So they’ve got everything that’s like ticking the boxes of awesomeness in life, but they just don’t feel full inside, excited by life, really fueled and full of vitality. That’s the difference. Now those who navigate their life through an external locus of control tend to blame outside forces for their circumstances. It could be their spouse or their boss, the company, the government, the financial situation. They also tend to credit luck or chance for any success because they don’t believe they can change their situation through their own efforts. Frequently, they feel powerless in challenging situations and are more prone to experience learned helplessness, which is a predisposed condition to seeing the glass half full. So, the internal and external locus of control, intraverse and extraverse, is basically the nucleus of my fulfillment framework.

 

[00:25:02]

And I have a whole keynote series on inversion. So, inversion to impact is how when you know yourself better, you can impact yourself, the world, your family, and the community around you. Inversion to influence is all about personal leadership and accountability. And I believe we’re all leaders. It has nothing to do with hierarchy and also inversion to innovation. Innovation is not something for a select few. And these topics have really resonated with audiences because I have delivered them over 700 times, and I’ve always really appreciated people’s feedback by getting a new perspective. Now, I promised you upfront I would tell you the 3 keys to really unlocking and leveling up your life. And these 3 keys, as I said, they affect CEOs, celebrities, peak performance athletes, team members, mothers, fathers, entrepreneurs, graduates, start ups, everybody.

 

[00:26:11]

And they are clarity, confidence, and courage. And these three pillars are what underpins all my work. One of the first things I do with clients, be it 1 on 1 or in group situations, is we really question their lives. What’s true? What are their beliefs? What they really want? Because a lot of the time, people find that they are living someone else’s life. They’re a passenger on someone else’s bus, be it societies, their parents, what they’re expected of from their family. So the questioning is all about becoming a self directed explorer and learning how the mind sabotages our success. The other thing we do is a lot of weeding. You cannot create a magnificent life on a rocky foundation.

 

[00:27:18]

Even if you’ve done a lot of self-development work and you really feel like you’re getting a real handle on life, you’re going to make sure that there are not even filaments of an old life that don’t serve you. The good stuff, bring on over. But the stuff that does not serve you, not even filaments, is to come forth because you think of it as weeds in concrete. The concrete is supposed to be that foundation, but those weeds can crack things open. We really explore the limiting thoughts, behaviors, and patterns in the conscious and the subconscious mind. And I’ve gotta say a majority of it’s in the subconscious, but there are ways to identify them. The other thing we do in the clarity stage is to understand your essence and your core driver. So that’s, like, your why, your values, and your desires.

 

[00:28:14]

And it’s about releasing “I’ll be happy when…” and embracing strategies that allow you to “be happy now.” Because if you’re saying to yourself, “I’ll be happy when I lose weight, I’ll be happy when I get this next house, I’ll be happy when I get a new job, I’ll be happy when I get the new guy or gal in my life,” you are telling yourself, subconsciously, that there is lack because your current state is not good enough, and you’ll only be fulfilled when sometime in the future something will happen that will make you happy. So when we focus consciously or subconsciously on the like, we get what we focus on, so guess what we get more of is luck. It’s gotta be an I’ll be happy now situation. And working with people on their why, oh, my gosh, it’s so fulfilling. I’ll put a clip from a keynote I did. I had a gorgeous lady named Poppy come up and figure out why. Once you know your WHY, why you get out of bed in the morning, and it’s not what you think, I’ve got to say the majority of the time is not what people think, and we do exercise together. We get beyond the conscious mind into the seed of the soul, so we delve into that unconscious, which truly does know everything.

 

[00:29:30]

My why previously was to bring the best version of myself into every situation, and that was my WHY up until about six months ago. And then all of a sudden, I got an inclination that that was been there, done that, and I had to level my life up. When I started exploring this new version of my why, it came out to be ‘exuberant, expanding energy.’ Quite honestly, I didn’t really know what exuberant meant, so I had to look it up. It was everything that really resonated with me. It was that excitement and joy and abundance and wealth and expansion, and I want to be that ever-energetic expansion because I feel then I can create even more of a positive ripple effect. And this podcast is a result of me aligning to my why, which is to share the knowledge that I’ve been gifted with and has worked for myself and, as I said, 100 of thousands of clients. When I first did my values, I looked at them and thought, “These don’t seem right.”

 

[00:30:41]

And then I realized they’re actually my parents’ values. I believe in looking at your top three prioritized values, which we will also work together on. My top three prioritized values are love, freedom, and abundance, and that is how I navigate my life. Once you know your why and your values, oh my gosh. It takes a load of life. You make decisions quickly. You feel great about yourself because you’re living authentically. The final part of clarity is really unlocking your desires, your personal brand, and how you differentiate yourself as a contributor to the world.

 

[00:31:23]

It might be the role model you are at work, at home, to a team. It’s looking at your leadership profile and your unique gifts and skills. Because if you can’t articulate and embody your value, then you’re often not valued. And this isn’t about shameless self-promotion. This is about knowing how you can consciously contribute to the world and those around you. What I find most interesting about this is that we have these organic capabilities that we just assume everyone else can do. But let me tell you, that is your goal. Those are your gifts.

 

[00:32:00]

And it’s really magnificent and exciting when we get to clarify them for you. So the whole clarity thing is very much about the inversion to impact. Because once you are clear on who you are, you know how you can positively impact and contribute. Oh my gosh. I cannot tell you how much confidence is at play at eroding our happiness. Everybody, no matter where they are in life, seems to have confidence issues. It’s all in gradient. So some people’s issue might be that they’re afraid to put a new idea out into the world, and somebody else’s that they might be afraid to say what they really want to a family member or have the confidence to articulate something in a meeting.

 

[00:32:53]

Once you have awareness through your clarity, the key to unleashing your potential is now learning how to seed and activate. So now that you’re clear on your why and your values and your desires and what makes you happy, it’s time to start practicing that confidence competence loop. So the more you do something, the more confident you get. And one of the things I love doing with people is looking at their current state. And in project management, we’d call it you’re as-is a state, and then look at your to-be state and where you want to move towards, and then develop strategies to really close that gap, as well as consciously navigate your life to heighten authenticity and happiness. The more confident you get, the more willing you are to be fully authentic in your life. That doesn’t mean saying what you want and not caring about how other people feel and being brash. It’s about that gracious confidence.

 

[00:33:49]

And there’s a lot of strategies and planning you can do to help develop your confidence in whatever area of your life, and I will take you through some of those processes in upcoming episodes. Here is where we do use a bit of science, where we look at the neuroplasticity and use science to automate continuous improvement, success, fulfillment, and happiness. The confidence side is all about influence. So when you know who you are, you are very aware of the impact and influence you want to have in the world. What kind of role model you wanna be? What kind of leader? What type of it’s almost like a legacy of your essence that you want to seed into the world. Then the final one is courage. Most people’s biggest thing in terms of courage is actually just being able to live authentically, to do as their soul and their heart’s desire. And you have to just look around you.

 

[00:34:46]

There are so many people stuck because they don’t want to get out of a relationship because they’re afraid of hurting somebody or that’s what’s expected, or they stay in a job because it’s safe and they don’t have the courage to follow their dreams, or they don’t have the courage to have a conversation that could shift a relationship into the most loving wholehearted space. Your courage can be a gain in gradient. It can be being authentic, which is phenomenal as it is, or the courage to look at how you want to make a difference in the world, what your legacy will be, or what you want to innovate or change. Courage is about really identifying your big, hairy, audacious goals and being the Reality Alchemist™. Because, as Einstein said, reality is merely an illusion. It is all up to us to create whatever we choose as long as it is heart-centered and aligned with our soul. Those are the 3 components everybody is challenged with, and they are the foundational pillars of all my work and what I’ll be sharing with you, so the clarity, confidence, and courage, and really looking at how that inside-out inversion process can positively impact, influence, and innovate the world. And it’s exciting because science is catching up with all this, and quantum physicists say reality is an illusion.

 

[00:36:18]

So here’s our opportunity to become a Reality Alchemist™ and banish the stinking thinking, fear, worry, and doubt. We want to tap into the world within you. You’re introverts to activate infinite potential and co-create a life experience that is exuberant and full of matter and meaning and that abundance of self, health, and wealth. The clients tell me that these are new-world professional and personal transformation strategies for individuals and organizations and their cultures, and it’s being driven by that transformational leadership focus, fueling a positive ripple effect that consciously enhances lives, teams, companies, customers, communities, and beyond. I encourage you to go to my website http://lkg.73c.mytemp.website/sandbox/podcast   and sign up for the Reality Alchemist™ Access newsletter to get notified of all these resources that are free. So life vitality resources, opportunities for free personal coaching, and submitting personal development questions. I can answer for you in my live streams or in the newsletter. So I really encourage you to listen to these podcasts in the live streams, but ideally to participate because I don’t want you sitting on the sidelines anymore.

 

[00:37:46]

I’m so committed to people living a regret-free life, and I want you to ask yourself now, if you were to die tomorrow, would you have any regrets in life? So if you say yes, no matter how big or small, let’s clean them up, let’s feel fulfilled. So I really invite you to embrace this opportunity, which was previously only available to my corporate and personal clients, and they paid 1,000 dollars an hour. And let’s share the love. Invite your family, friends, colleagues, and teams to experience this personal and professional enrichment coaching that I am gifting you as part of my why. I hope that’s given you some insight into the essence of my work and this podcast, what will be on offer each week, which is basically exploring a concept, having some action to do, and a mindfulness practice that will be available to you offline in a separate podcast, as well as joining the live stream Q&A and sessions. I am totally committed to providing value to you. So, since I did ask you to be my Valentine, I wanted to share with you some phenomenal research done by Arthur Aaron and others that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. I will link to these questions in the show notes.

 

[00:39:23]

So also on my website http://lkg.73c.mytemp.website/sandbox/podcast, you will find show notes with things I refer to throughout the podcast. There are 3 levels here or 3 sets of questions, and they they get a bit more intense as you go through them. It’s great fun to play with friends or partners and really get to know each other. Now, I have selected 2 from each set. I’ve picked them, but I haven’t thought of the answer in advance because I didn’t think that was fair that I got to think about them. So just gonna read them to you and give you my, like, top of the head response. From set 1, it’s question number 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? I would like universal consciousness as a dinner guest because I would love to be able to see the infinite possibilities of the world and the universe and how we’re all tied together, and I’d be able to ask any question.

 

[00:40:25]

I’m gonna give you a few more insights. The other person I might invite is a genie to give me one wish, and then I would wish for infinite wishes. I really thought about that. Like, I think that’s a smart response. Right? Infinite wishes. Now if I was being practical, practical in the sense that I could have real people, I would probably invite Ellen Degeneres, because I love that she has really clean comedy, and I really love the personal development side of her. I would invite someone like Bruno Mars for entertainment because he seems like a really cool guy, and I love his music and moves. I’ll give you the standard personal development answer, Oprah Winfrey, because I’d just be really keen to get some insight into her life experience, not so much the people she interviewed, but, you know, what her life has been like.

 

[00:41:12]

I just really love to explore her journey. So that’s what I do. I’d have universal consciousness, a genie, or Ellen DeGeneres, Bruno Mars, and Oprah. And I’d probably have a few other people. That’s all I can think of right now. From set 1 again, question 12, if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality, what would it be? I would say I’d love the ability to instantly be able to release people of their fear, worry, and doubt. Allow them to learn the lessons that those attributes were creating in that instance. Because we can’t really release the challenges unless we learn the lessons in a really gracious way.

 

[00:41:58]

You know what? I kinda do have that ability, but the way humans are, we go back to our stinking thinking, so it’s it is a persistence thing. Okay. Now set 2, question 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, anything else, what would you wanna know? Oh gosh. I would love to know the easiest path, because probably just like you, gosh, there’s been some struggles. And they’re all, of my own will and volition, quite honestly. I’ve created my own challenges. I’d really love to know what the universal loopholes are sometimes, because I feel sometimes that I really do the work in the personal development stuff and really commit to personal growth and sharing that knowledge and being of service.

 

[00:42:50]

And there are still some sticky points in my life, say, like, for example, love relationship. So I would love to know, like, what is the sticking point? And just pinpoint it and just, like, let’s rip the band aid off and get on with it. Set to question number 15, what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? I would probably say when I’ve been most excited. So years ago, in my thirties, I started a business with one of my best friends, Ivana, and we opened up a clothing business for plus size women. We knew nothing about designing, but we knew things about marketing, so that was a good thing. I think what really excited me and got me onto this pathway is that we might not have been that great at selling clothes, but, gee, we were good at getting a message out there on body image and self esteem through the media. One of my other accomplishments is turning my PhD thesis into my book, Limitless, and it becoming a best seller, and watching that actually happen was so fulfilling. Other great accomplishments in life, I think, I’ve gotta say I’m so persistent, it’s tiring sometimes, but I am willing to really being a better version of myself as much as I can be.

 

[00:44:12]

Okay. Set to question number 19. If you knew that in 1 year, you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why? Well, yeah, I actually would. I would probably go all out on food. I mean, addicted much. I would probably just, like, not give a hoot about if I could fit into clothes and having that constant battle and just be joyous around it. And you know what I’m really getting an insight about that now? I should just have that attitude now anyway, because I probably let go of that control component of it. We just had a lesson in the whole process.

 

[00:44:53]

What else would I do? I will probably spend more time cultivating experiences, traveling, spending more time with people, really creating memories. I’d probably blow a lot of money, quite honestly, because, hey, it’s almost in my DNA. So I would just really live large. Like, everything that I’ve thought in the past, oh, you can’t afford that or you shouldn’t be spending money on that. I just go for it. I wouldn’t have anything that I’d have to worry about in terms of saying things to people or anything like that. I don’t really have any regrets around relationships or my work. I’m just continuously putting things out and honoring myself.

 

[00:45:38]

Okay. Set 3. It’s gonna get deeper. Set 3. Question 26. Complete this sentence. I wish I had someone with whom I could share well, this follows on from the previous question. I’m gonna say, I wish I had someone with whom I could share experiences with.

 

[00:45:55]

And one of the reasons I haven’t been travelling recently is because one of my favorite things to do is travel with a lover and just an amazing man that I can have fun with and explore with and talk to. So that’s probably what I’m missing the most right now. I don’t feel lack about it. I am more than comfortable in my own company. Also very willing and open hearted to attracting my fantastic new partner. Okay. Number 30, when did you last cry in front of another person and by yourself? Okay. There’s a bit of a theme here.

 

[00:46:34]

So the last time I cried in front of another person was in a relationship where I knew he had so much to give, but he was getting in his own way. And it was that sorrow of the fulfilled potential in him, also in us, because, you know, I really had a lot of love for this man, and we could have had such a magnificent life together. So that’s the last time I cried in front of someone else, And by myself, well, I was watching a movie the other day, and it was about purpose, and these people went to India. And instead of just donating money, they decided to literally give of themselves, and they went to a community, I think they called it the abandoned elderly community, and, oh, my gosh, like, my heart just broke because these, you know, people with such wisdom were just, like, left off. And this gentleman who was on this tour went and spoke to one of the guys, and he was thinking, gee, I really should probably go around and talk to other people in the community. But he felt really drawn to speak with this one man solely. And at the end, the guy said to him, I really love practicing my English, and I love talking with you, and you have made my life. And, oh my gosh, my hand just went to my heart and the tears started.

 

[00:47:58]

I just thought how important connection is. We just go through life with our eyes down and not connecting. Even when we talk to people, we don’t look them in the eyes or acknowledge them or we’re not present, and I just thought, that really reinforced it to me. So that was a really touching moment. Okay. Last question. Number 33, which is one of my favorite numbers. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? I have thought about this question and as I mentioned earlier, my dad did pass in October 2017, and I had probably a very basic relationship with my dad.

 

[00:48:42]

You know, I loved him, but we didn’t have a lot in common, and my parents weren’t particularly expressive, because I thought if something happened to my dad, would I regret anything? And it was that I’d never told him that I loved him and appreciated him and everything he did for us. As I said, he was a migrant. He worked, like, 2, 3 jobs just so we could have a better life in both Australia and Canada. So I made sure I told him I appreciate and love him. So that’s pretty much it. Those are my insider questions. I really encourage you guys to do this for yourself, and I invite you to share your answers with me too. Pick a few.

 

[00:49:21]

Send them to me through Nova, my Virtual Reality Alchemist on my site, http://lkg.73c.mytemp.website/sandbox or post them on social media and #RealityAlchemist so I can see what you guys are up to. I hope you enjoyed our time together. Please subscribe and share the love with those around you if you receive value from this podcast. And because there is no time and space, and we’re all connected, I really wanted to let you know that I’ll believe in you until you believe in yourself. Thank you so much for letting me live my why, and until next time, all aboard the Reality Alchemist™ magic carpet.

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